Basically, she would be happy if I just disappeared altogether.
I am supposed to stop having the type of relationship I do with the girls and am supposed to ask my sister-in-law what I can and can not do / how I can and can not act with the girls and "fall in line" with what they think is acceptable. He said this has bothered her for a long time and now it is making it near impossible for her to be close to the girls. My brother says that even though I may think I am acting in the best interest of the kids, I am really being selfish and doing it all for my own happiness when I do all this because I am trying to fill a void in my life (I am single with no kids). I hug them too long and too much, I have all the fun with them - which makes her look bad because she is the one that has to discipline them, I take too many pictures with them on special occasions, I spend too much time with them at family events, we look at pictures on our phones too much when we are all together (Maybe if I start printing them, that would make it ok?), I text/Snapchat with them too much (which is now my only way to communicate with them), I go to too many of their events - basically everything I have always done with them throughout their lives. My nieces are 14 and 15 and her relationship with the 15-year-old is very strained because her daughter just doesn't like her - which I don't blame her quite frankly. I was finally able to talk to my brother the other night and they are basically blaming me for all of her hurt and anger the last several years - because I am too close to the girls and am "sabotaging" her efforts to build her relationships with them. Recently, she blocked me from Facebook and stopped talking to me. I don't want them to feel more uncomfortable than they already do. Every time she has been, I have taken the high road and not responded - for the sake of the kids. Her and my relationship has been incredibly strained and she is often condescending, rude and downright mean to me - many times in front of the kids. I feel so bad for the kids (they have 2 girls and 2 boys). She yells at the kids more and her fuse is very short. See acts like she is bipolar - you just never know who you are going to get when you see her. Over the course of the past five years, my sister-in-law has become someone I don't even recognize anymore.
My sister-in-law and I had an amazing relationship, as did she and my Mom. Patterns were established over the course of their early years as to my interactions with them/my level of involvement with their lives. My sister-in-law always made a point to include me in everything and make me aware of every single one of their events. Throughout their lives, I have lived 10 miles away from them and I have been totally engaged in their lives - going to every sporting event, every school function, every extracurricular event, etc. This story has been passed on from my mother, to me, and now to my nieces. They already do read prolifically, but I also want to share that passion with them.Īnother habit that we have as a trio, is to share certain stories, told over and over again-joyous ribaldry! One of those stories is the story of how my grandpa, their great-grandfather, "accidentally" used the lady's bathroom at the camp, thus creating dire embarrassment in the hearts of his two daughters, my mom and my aunt. As the bookish aunt, I want to share my love of books with them. The way it usually goes is that the girls come down to the guest room where I am sleeping, and we talk until very late at night, finally stopping the fun with the tired protestation that I simply cannot stay awake a minute longer, and that mommy is going to get mad at us if we don't finally fall asleep.Īnother thing I love to do is buy a book for each of them, for birthdays and Christmas. While I'm there my nieces and I usually do at least two sleepovers.
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